Hero culture has set an impossible and dangerous standard for men in this country. The John Wayne type of independent, self-reliant, emotionless icon has been replicated, digitized, and repacked into countless new action actors and movies. Now, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Dwayne Johnson make up just the tip of the iceberg that is, unfortunately, [...]

“None of the bars in San Francisco are as bad as the bars here,” says the new guy I just met at an intimate pool party in North Hollywood. The typical refrain from one of our brothers up north rolled easily off the early thirty-something man’s tongue. His lack of self-consciousness was so striking I [...]

Finding the break room coffee pot simmering on empty sets off a tirade of self-righteous anger my head. Every time. On a regular basis. What kind of butt wipes am I working with? If I’d tried to get away with this kind of behavior during my extended tour as a Denny’s waiter, my up-do, aqua [...]

Notifying a community that they may be at risk for a potentially fatal disease for which there is currently treatment and a vaccine is not “yellow journalism,” it is leadership. James Peron’s blog post in the Huffington Post attacks Councilmember John Duran’s press conference, suggesting that Duran’s actions unnecessarily put the gay community’s political agenda [...]

Airplanes, like the one I'm flying in now, used to be places where reality was suspended between two worlds. They bridged the gap, the chasm. I was a son to my step-mom Patsy in North Platte, NE, only to get off the plane and be a son to my bio-mom DeLene in Tucson, AZ. I [...]

This is one of those days we are going to be talking about years, or even decades, from now – the time when it was against the law for two men or two women to get married. Maybe the weirdest part of today is how commonplace everything around us is while something so extraordinary is [...]

The Supreme Court of the United States heard Prop 8 arguments yesterday, DOMA is being heard today, and this gay man just confirmed his reservations for a three day trip to Gothenburg, Nebraska. I will consider this trip to the hearland a success if I make it back without my heart being ripped from my [...]

Seth Godin says, heretic = artist = leader. I like that. ​​ ​ ​This heretic is here to change your life - our lives, the lives of gay men and anyone who is effected by gay men. The change will not be easy. It never has been. But it is necessary, and the rewards are [...]