Hero culture has set an impossible and dangerous standard for men in this country. The John Wayne type of independent, self-reliant, emotionless icon has been replicated, digitized, and repacked into countless new action actors and movies. Now, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Dwayne Johnson make up just the tip of the iceberg that is, unfortunately, [...]
As gay men, we spend so much of our lives existing in a world that is not built for us, we forget that there is an option to finding ways of “fitting in”. We can actually belong.
The Angst of Diminishing Superficial Beauty When I was 22, I sat across the table from a San Diego County Healthcare Worker who told me I had 6 to 18 months to live. That’s what they told newly diagnosed HIV positive men in 1987. It seemed that getting old was not a state of being [...]
Anxiety is a constant companion, tied to every choice, decision, or plan that comes into my head.
Inside my new memoir: Drama Club During the summer between my junior and senior year of high school, Bart and I attended a ballroom dance camp held on the campus of BYU. In our shared dorm room, my life realigned after our first kiss and I no longer had thoughts of killing myself. "Only two months [...]
A Trump presidency has exposed the pain and humiliation of million's of working people's unfulfilled American dream. This thought provoking article, written in October 2016, explains how we got here as a nation and suggests some "respectful confrontation" to move us forward. I LOVE that this is not an us vs. them article. The author [...]
Last night, twenty-five gay men gathered for the monthly TRIBE Gay Men's Discussion group to discussion intimacy. Enthusiasm was high in the room and several discussions started on their own before the meeting even started. Maybe it was the fact that we were back from a two month break so we could attend the two Pride meetings [...]
“None of the bars in San Francisco are as bad as the bars here,” says the new guy I just met at an intimate pool party in North Hollywood. The typical refrain from one of our brothers up north rolled easily off the early thirty-something man’s tongue. His lack of self-consciousness was so striking I [...]
Finding the break room coffee pot simmering on empty sets off a tirade of self-righteous anger my head. Every time. On a regular basis. What kind of butt wipes am I working with? If I’d tried to get away with this kind of behavior during my extended tour as a Denny’s waiter, my up-do, aqua [...]